What is it about confidence that makes it such a desirable quality? Whenever we’re feeling doubtful, unsure of ourselves, or just nervous, the first piece of advice we often hear is, “Just be confident.” But how?
Is confidence as simple as a light switch — something we can just turn on when we need it? Or is it more of a manifestation — think it and it will come?
Confidence has several definitions. The first being a sense of trust, either within a person or a thing. Or, confidence can be defined as a feeling of absolute certainty.
But the kind of confidence we’re talking about — the one most people want — is a strong sense of self-assuredness. The feeling of knowing exactly who they are, inside and out, and recognizing what they’re capable of. So, what does that confidence feel like?
Confidence doesn’t have to be complicated
Overthinking tends to create more trouble than it’s worth, leaving us with more questions than any glimpse of clarity.
When it comes to confidence, we can’t overthink it. It may be intangible, but it’s not impossible to possess. The best way to approach confidence is to break it down to its simplest, most basic form. In other words, make it crystal clear for you.
In school, at work, or even at home, if we don’t understand something, we ask for clarity. We try to make it make sense for us; that way, we learn, apply, and try again with a little more know-how than before.
The same goes for confidence. You can create your own confidence “cheat codes,” or mental notes, to help you harness a more self-assured mindset. You’ll avoid overthinking, and can approach confidence in the way that makes the most sense to you.
Confidence comes and goes on a daily basis
You don’t have to force confidence. Because it's something you already possess.
We often make the mistake of putting confidence on a pedestal; associating it with celebrities, entrepreneurs, millionaires, or “successful” people in general.
Whether we realize it or not, we all feel confident on a daily basis. And we feel it in the simplest of situations. If someone asks us a question, and we answer it knowing we have the right answer, that’s confidence.
Whenever we’re faced with a new or stressful situation, our fight-or-flight response kicks in. We can either face it, or we can choose to look the other way. But here’s the thing: there’s confidence in both. If you believe you’re making the right decision, and are comfortable with what you’re going to do or how you’re going to respond, that’s confidence. That’s self-assuredness.
So, what does confidence feel like?
Confidence makes us feel lighter, happier, clearer, and more focused to do what we want, how we want, and when we want. It’s a sense of knowing we’re doing what’s best for us; a feeling of comfort in who we are. There’s no doubt, no question, and no fear in our next move.
Rather than think of all the things confidence “could” be, or look like, try to imagine your most confident self. How do you talk? How do you walk? What do you wear? What do you think as your most confident self?
Chances are, you’ve already stepped into your most confident self. You’ve aced an exam, crushed a presentation, and squashed first-date jitters. You’ve felt pure confidence before, and there’s no doubt in our minds you’ll feel it again.